sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
