I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize