I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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