Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
