Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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