So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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