I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
