matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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