I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
