She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
