It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
