The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
