i don't like sucking hair
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
