BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
