i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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