Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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