and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
