Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
