I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This house was built for laser tag.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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