Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
