well you can't waste a boner
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
