It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
