I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
