I hate all girls vehemently.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
