i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
