Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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