your thong is hanging out like whoa
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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