butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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