When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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