What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
