The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
