i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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