Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My ass is underappreciated
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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