oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize