Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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