If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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