We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
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WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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