Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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