Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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