Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
