I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
why do cheetos always look like penises
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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