operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
