i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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