Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize