He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
