Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
