We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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