Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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