Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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