I don't think brook has ever known best
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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