1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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