I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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