im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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