so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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