Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
we're so committed to being not committed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
