Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
