I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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