Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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