I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
