Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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